Nickerella
by The Vampire's Missus
Summary: Will Nickerella get to the ball and snag the greeneyed Prince? Contains mild MM innuendo.


A/N: As of posting, it's Panto season...pauses for cries of _Oh no it isn't!..._so how about a Sun Hill Silly?

Nickerella

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful young man called Nickerella. He was a poor orphan and lived with his two step-sisters, Gabriel and Batty. Now, as step-sisters go, these two were pretty ugly. In fact, it was often speculated that Gabriel was a bloke, and a pretty ugly one at that. Batty wasn't too bad, but she was, to be blunt, a freak and a nut-job.

Nickerella was made to mop and clean the house, and had to sleep in the fireplace with only his mop & bucket for company. He called them Moppy and Buckey, not bad for someone who wasn't able to get out much.

Nicky dreamt of the outside world and falling in love, and the great seks that brings. His frequent day-dreams were rudely interrupted by Gabriel and Batty's demands he do all the housework, but they were never satisfied with the taste of his coffee, often spitting it out in his face.

One terrible day, the step-sisters came home laughing and cackling.

Gabriel announced, "We've been invited to the Prince's gala ball...and you're not coming!"

Nickerella sighed, the Prince was a right cracker and he wanted to jump on his bones. His fantasies were interrupted by a slap from Batty, "Oi! Get dinner ready, then you can start on our costumes, monkey boy!"

Nicky shuffled off and prepared to toss the salad, still dreaming about the handsome and well-hung Prince and all the things he'd like to do to the green-eyed hottie. A yell from the dining room brought him back to reality and he sighed for the 17,945,622nd time that day and brought out the meals.

Gabriel and Batty tucked into their dinner, eating like pigs. As Nicky laid out the next course, Gabriel nodded, "Great mayonnaise sauce!", a rare compliment. Nicky smiled politely but didn't say anything - he hadn't put any mayonnaise on the salad...

The next two weeks flew by, and Nicky stayed up late sewing his step-sisters' dresses, eyes red-rimmed from lack of sleep and the candle-light. Each day was met with the same abuse and teasing about all the fun and food he would miss, and each night he would cry himself to sleep, hugging his mop and bucket.

Finally and at last! The day of the ball had arrived! Gabriel and Batty were overbearingly horrible to Nicky and in retaliation he had put an extra dose of "cream" in their coffees, suppressing a smile at the resultant foam moustaches.

At last and finally! They got ready and a carriage came to whisk them away. A final insult and they were gone. Nickerella sighed again, moping and mopping in the cold, dark house.

"What you moping about for? There's a ball to go to. C'mon, chop, chop!", came a gravelly voice.

Nickerella blinked, "Eh?"

"I'm Gina, your Fairy Gold-mother!", said the voice, "Behind you!"

Nicky turned to see Gina floating above the dining table, "That's a good one. Do you do card tricks, too?"

Gina scowled, "No. I just grant wishes to go to balls. Right...pumpkin, some mice and ...hang on, that's my shopping list. Hold out your mop and bucket."

Nicky did so, and Gina flourished her ASP. There was a flash of light and a carriage and horse appeared in the room. Nicky clapped, "Brilliant! Hang on, shouldn't they be outside?"

Gina rolled her eyes and waved her ASP again, transporting them all outside. "Now, the clothes...how about...this?"

Nickerella blinked as another bright flash blinded him. He opened his eyes and noded in approval at his new suit, "Wicked! Ta, Fairy Gold-mother."

Gina smiled, "Just doing my job. Oh, the usual warranty applies - you have until midnight. After that, can't be held responsible and all that guff. Okay?"

Nicky nodded, "Wicked! Ta.", as Gina handed him his invitation. She stood back and waved him away, smiling.

Nickerella watched in excitement as the carriage sped through the city. He gasped as he approached Sun Hill Palace, a glittering building filled with light, laughter and music.

Beautifully uniformed servants helped him down from the carriage and valet-parked it. One took his invitation and smiled as he ushered Nicky inside.

Nicky stood at the top of the stairs and gazed around the room. He caught his breath as he noticed the well-fit Prince chatting with a group of people. The Prince smiled and Nicky thought he'd died and gone to heaven, and he found himself floating down the stairs and across the room. Nicky felt as though he were dreaming as he neared the Prince. He stopped just before reaching him and breathed deeply, transfixed. A sudden screech of laughter distracted him - his two ugly step-sisters were holding court with a large group of cronies. Nicky winced and edged out of their sight. Turning, he nearly cried in despair as the Prince had disappeared.

"No, no, no, no!", Nicky muttered, turning this way and that, "Come back, come back!", as Nicky darted around and around he stumbled into someone, "Oh, sorry mate!", he said.

"S'awright mate.", the man smiled.

Nicky smiled, then gasped as he realised that the man was the Prince, "Oh I'm...I'm...I'm sorry. Shit! Oh sorry!", he stammered.

The Prince smirked and wriggled his eyebrow, "Nah, you're awright. Have a drink."

Nicky took the glass and stared enraptured at the Prince, "You have lovely green eyes, sir...", he replied softly.

The Prince blushed slightly and smiled, "Ta. I've never seen someone with such black hair. What do you use on it?"

Nicky shrugged not really understanding, "Oh, um, chimney soot, mostly..."

The Prince smiled again, "Wot's yer name?"

"Nickerella, um I'm not sure what to call you, sir...", Nicky replied.

"You can call me tomorrow, Nickerella.", the Prince winked, wriggling an eyebrow.

Nicky smiled shyly, "I'd love to...", then realised sadly that tomorrow he'd be back with the mop and bucket, "...but I can't. I'm sorry...I shouldn't have come here...", he looked away sadly.

The Prince frowned, "Wassup?", he was stopped from continuing by a group of people fawning around him. The Prince glanced away from his well-wishers in time to see Nicky half-running away in tears. Making a snap decision, the Prince pushed the group away and ran after Nicky.

As he ran outside, Nicky heard the clock chime midnight. He moaned as he saw his horse and carriage turn back into his mop and bucket. As his suit turned back into his old, ill-fitting clothes, his oft-mended shoe split and sent him tripping into a puddle. Nicky lay there for a moment, then got up in pain. He grabbed his bucket and mop and climbed over the wall, snagging his shoe again and falling off the top. Nicky found himself in another puddle and muttered several swear words learnt from his step-sisters, then picked himself up. He picked up his bucket and started to look round for the mop.

"Nickerella! Nicky, wait!", came the Prince's voice. Nicky's heart nearly burst in pain and desire. He couldn't let the Prince see him like this, he was just common scum. Nicky forgot his mop and ran all the way home, diving into his alcove in the fireplace and crying himself to sleep.

The Prince had tried to follow Nicky, but only glimpsed him as he ran away. Then he looked down and noticed the mop...

Hours later, the raucous sounds of his step-sisters woke Nickerella. He reluctantly went to help them change and listened as they boasted about their night with the Prince.

Eventually, they went to bed and Nicky left them snoring. He went back to his fireplace and sadly dreamt of the Prince.

In the morning, a groggy Nicky woke up to a silent house. His step-sisters were still sleeping off their wild night. He checked on the dresses, soaking out the wine and vomit stains and put them in fresh water, then went to make himself breakfast. He sighed and decided to make a start on cleaning the house when he remembered he'd left the mop behind.

"Nooooo. Gabriel and Batty are going to kill me now!", he moaned to himself.

As if on cue, a screech from Batty rang out, "Monkey boy! Get our breakfast ready!"

Nicky sighed yet again and prepared the breakfast things, listening to the stomps as the sisters descended the stairs. He had the bowls of porridge ready as they entered the room, and set them down before them.

"Mmmmm, creamy porridge.", Gabriel said, his mouth full.

Nicky smiled politely, trying not to retch.

"More coal, then clean the chimney, monkey boy!", cried Gabriel.

As Nicky cleared the breakfast away, a clamour from the street caught the sisters' attention. Gabriel and Batty pressed their faces to the window and watched the crowd outside. A footman knocked on the door.

"Nicky! Get the door!", called Batty, "Monkey boy!"

Down in the cellar, Nicky couldn't hear the calls and kept shovelling the coal.

Batty's patience snapped and she dashed to the door, "What's going on?", Gabriel cried from behind her.

The crowd all started to yell and shout at once. Batty and Gabriel screamed back, then they gasped as they realised the Prince was in the midst of the noisy throng.

A footman stepped forward, "We are seeking the owner of this!", he held out the mop.

Gabriel laughed, "You need your palace cleaned? Nicky'll do for ya, your highness."

The Prince raised an eyebrow, "Is this mop yours?"

Batty shrugged, "How would I know?"

The Prince walked inside, nearly giving Gabriel a heart attack, "This Nicky you mentioned. May I speak to him?"

Batty scratched her head, "What you want to talk to scum like him for? We're so much more interesting company than that cretin?"

The Prince sighed, "I would ask you to fetch him, please."

Gabriel sighed, then screeched, "Nicky! Get up here now, you filthy monkey!"

The Prince exchanged a look with his footman, Dan, who shrugged in return.

Wedged up the chimney, Nicky finally heard Gabriel's screeching calls and sighed as he slowly worked his way down. He coughed away some soot and ran a hand through his hair, blinking as he realised the room had filled with people.

The Prince stood gazing at him. Nicky gasped as he recognised his mop in the hands of the rather poncy-looking footman.

"That's your mop, innit?", the Prince finally spoke.

Nicky nodded shyly, expecting to be yelled at to bring food and clean the place.

The Prince walked up to Nicky and smiled, "Nickerella, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. Come live with me!"

Nicky almost fainted with desire as he stared into the Prince's green eyes, "Do you really mean that? I'm just scum..."

"Nah, you're a treasure. Let's go!", the Prince wriggled an eyebrow in a way that nearly made Nicky explode with delight.

"But what about my step-sisters?", Nicky asked.

The Prince frowned, "From what I've seen, they treat you like dirt.Nuts to'em! Guards! Feed them to the dragon!"

Nicky blinked, "You have a dragon"?

The Prince smirked, "I'm a Prince. I can have anything I like! And I like you..."

Nicky grinned, "Then you can have me! Let's go babe!"

The Prince was true to his word. He fed the ugly step-sisters to the dragon and he had Nicky every night and several times during the day...

And they live happily ever after.


End file.
